


Of Monsters and Men

by the_maraudersmap_of_fandoms



Series: Runaways [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Bruce Banner-centric, F/M, Gen, Introspection, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, as all the avengers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:02:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23808085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_maraudersmap_of_fandoms/pseuds/the_maraudersmap_of_fandoms
Summary: Sat on the front steps, the man drank his cup of tea with small and measured sip, letting the warm liquid burn its way down his oesophagus and warm the tips of his fingers, as if the air around him was not hot and humid enough to make him suffocate. It was a way to keep his hands busy, to keep his mind on check, the numbness and the Other Guy nothing more than a background music while the pleasant ache kept the man on touch with the reality.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Hulk, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Series: Runaways [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715338
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. Catch-up

It was late, the hallways were plunged into darkness, only slightly lighted up by Jarvis as Bruce walked, never more than twenty percent of the lightning, it was too late for more and such an intense light would revitalise the scientist. He really needed to sleep. As he dropped by the kitchen, long enough to fix himself a hot cocoa, he absent-mindedly noted that the light was stronger than a few minutes prior, but blamed Jarvis for it – it made sense that man’s action would require a stronger light – until he heard a noise and saw the lightning flickered. Only one thing could be at the origin of those two facts: a television. Well, also being haunted, but Bruce was really not in a state of mind good enough to deal with ghost, not that he was more ready to deal with human… But he supposed that if he had to choose, humans were the least awful. The man got closer to the living room until he could perceive the back of a head with short dirty blond hair. Barton. The man barely turn his head toward Bruce, putting a finger before his mouth to tell the other to stay quiet. Natasha lied on the sofa, her head onto the archer’s lap, half asleep. Tony was out of town for business matters – meaning Pepper had dragged him to a meeting out of town – which meant that Bruce should have been alone in the tower tonight since none of the other avengers stayed there in Tony’s absence, except Bruce who had a “flat” in the tower. Anyway, the physicist was way too tired to care about two assassins installing themselves, it was not as if they could have done something to Bruce, the Other Guy would make sure of that.

In the morning, he made his way to the kitchen, needing some tea in his system before doing anything. There was a faint smell of food on the stove that grew stronger as Bruce got closer to the kitchen, and voices talking quietly, so quietly that the physicist couldn’t make out what they were saying. He turn around the corner to be met by the sight of Clint cooking breakfast for Natasha and himself, the archer looked at him and smiled.

“Morning Doc! Was starting to think about sending Nat to wake you up.”

At her name, the spy waived lazily to Bruce, sipping from her cup of coffee. The percolator is full, making the scientist wonder if for once it wouldn’t be nice to drink coffee instead if tea, but decided against it, if he was to ingest some caffeine, it would be someday when there were more people in the tower, more people able to get against the Other Guy. Bruce sat on the stool next to the red haired spy, watching Clint moving around to get the breakfast ready, the smell getting better and better, no point in denying this. For a minute, he was tempted to ask what the two agents were doing there, he hadn’t seen them more than necessary and never more than a few hours at a time in the tower, but Bruce got the feeling that they might not answer truthfully, there was a feeling of a mission gone south. Okay, the bruise around Clint’s neck gave it away, but still, it seemed rude to point it out.

“Hope you like eggs in the morning, that’s about everything I can do for breakfast.”

“That’s fine. I rarely eat breakfast, or something consistent at least.”

As it turn out, Tony knew that the two spies were staying in his tower, he had been in the SHIELD headquarters (consulting quickly) when they had come back from mission, looking absolutely wrecked and exhausted to the bone, prompting the billionaire to offer a place to lay down for a little while. When asked if they had plan for the day, Natasha told him that the captain would come later to watch a movie and catch up a bit, no one had seen him in a while, they were on their own job and except when on the same job or in DC, it was hard to spend time with Rogers. Bruce ended going to the lab way later than planned, but at least, he felt marginally lighter than usual.

“You should spend more time with other human beings and not only with samples” Natasha teased.

“Yeah, why don’t you watch the movie with us? I’m sure Rogers would appreciate with it being spending time with a teammate…”

Maybe, but for now, the physicist had a lot of sample to go through, he would see later if he could make a break for a movie. He wasn’t used anymore to spend time with a lot of people, talking and socializing took a lot of energy – he already was introvert before the accident, but after the incident, spending time away from people wasn’t anymore a matter of energy, but also a matter of security –, and as much as he wanted to see how the captain was, that morning had already used his social energy. A little over an hour after breakfast, Natasha made her way to the labs, Clint had fallen asleep on the sofa, watching cartoon – the archer hadn’t had a full night of sleep since the battle of New York, dreaming of Loki and brainwashing, and would often fall asleep during the day –, she had a book with her, but didn’t feel like staying alone. Bruce guessed it was a way to get over her fear of the Other Guy, making sure she could spend time in the same room as the scientist on her own will. She read and he looked at his sample, they shared a moment of peace. Bruce wrote down some notes, planned some new experimentations to do and the samples needed, Natasha turn pages after pages, and at some point, Jarvis’ voice raised.

“Captain Rogers and Agent Barton are requiring your presence in the kitchen.”

Steve came sooner than it was planned, had met Clint in the living room – the other man was awake, watching a documentary – and both had decided to cook something, settling on pasta because everybody loves pasta, as Clint had said. The captain looked as tired as the two spies had seemed the night prior, but once again, Bruce refrained from making any commentary. He also kept for himself that he wasn’t a big pasta eater, had eaten way too much pasta when he was a student. The physicist set the table while Natasha gave him the plates and silverware, some napkins. They settled down around the table, Clint and Natasha on one side, and Bruce and Steve on the other side, they didn’t speak for a while, letting everybody got a taste of their meal.

“So, what are we watching?”

“Good question. I guess we’ll avoid big saga, war movies and historical for now.”

“Why don’t we watch The Bicentennial Man?”

“God no! Tasha, you know I cry everytime!”

It was all Natasha needed to decide that they would watch the movie. The four of them settled on the sofa and love seat in the living room, each having his own bowl of popcorn because there was no way that Clint would share one, and Steve asked Jarvis to start the movie, looking in the air as he did. They were enjoying the movie just fine, no one daring to speak aloud in risk of breaking the peaceful atmosphere. It’s only when Andrew came back to find out that Little Miss (Amanda) had grown old and had a granddaughter Portia that Bruce mentally screamed, there couldn’t be a more obviously wrong movie to choice to watch with a “world war II awaked in the twenty-first century after seventy years in the ice” hero. Goddamit! Yet, no one said anything and they kept watching the adventure of Andrew trying to gain the status of being human. As predicted, Clint was openly crying when the ending credit ruled, his half eaten bowl of popcorn settled on the ground, next to his feet. Bruce himself was close to be in the same state, Steve seemed trying hard not to dwell on the past, and Natasha looked utterly unbothered and unaffected by the movie.

“Come on, Barton! It’s ridiculous, you’re supposed to be a badass motherfucker and each time, you’re a mess…”

“Sorry for having a heart!!!”

Steve and Bruce shared a look, mentally agreeing with Natasha, the archer did really look ridiculous right now; red eyes still full of unshed tears, a runny nose and the skin reddish with the suppressed need of sobbing his heart out.

“I think we should try to do this more often” offered Steve, nodding toward the screen. “There are so many movies to catch on that I never know how to make up my mind.”

“We could ask Stark to host our movie saance, you know, for the sake of the team dynamic.”

* * *

A month and an half went by, Tony had come back to the tower, doing science bro thing with Bruce (he was the one calling it that way), Natasha and Clint had left, going on missions or spending time with Agent Coulson, and Bruce hadn’t thought to much about the movie night wanted by the two spies and the captain. Well, up until the moment Tony addressed Jarvis, asking that a list of movies was made, making the choice easier. Bruce felt himself frown, looking at the other man, question clear in his eyes.

“Did you not know we were having a movie night?”

“No?”

“Ah… I was sure to have told Jarvis to tell you…”

“You did, sir. But Doctor Banner was busy at the time.”

The scientist could feel his face grow red by shame, it was nothing awful, but he still got caught not paying attention, which hadn’t happened since he was a little kid. Tony only smirked, but hold back any comment he might have wanted to make. Both men made their way to the living room where Clint and Natasha already were, there was only Steve missing, Thor wasn’t on earth for the time being. The popcorn is ready, there are extra cushions and blankets for extra-comfort in case the night ending in same fashion that The Bicentennial Man had. The teasing had Clint groaning, but the man didn’t look particularly put off, he was even smiling widely, showing of his teeth. Bruce couldn’t help but wonder what got the archer beaming in such a way.

The first movie went by quickly, Clint and Tony making commentaries all along about the actors and actresses, about the director and producer, about the script, about the plot, about cinematic history. They started the second movie and Bruce fell asleep midway, head inclined back in a way that promised that his nap would ache the day after. Natasha took advantage of it, taking Bruce’s bowl of popcorn, because hers was empty, Clint had finished his and was sharing Steve’s because the captain was too busy watching the movie to eat his popcorn. Tony had pick a mix of nuts instead of popcorn, so everybody let him be. When the third movie ended, it was well past midnight, they had missed dinner time, not that any of them would have been able to eat after all the popcorn and nuts, and most importantly, they were all asleep in all sort of uncomfortable position.

In the morning, Jarvis woke them up to inform them of Fury’s presence inside the Tower, he was there for SHIELD business, whatever that meant. Usually, when Fury came asking for the Avengers help, he said so, which meant that this meeting has nothing to do with the Avengers. The Director looked as angry as always, putting Bruce in a feeling of unease, his own natural anger came back to the surface, itching under his skin as if the Other Guy was probing the underside of his skin with big green fingers. The scientist had to stay as far of the man as the room allowed him to be, which meant not far enough. Natasha and Clint are the closest to Fury, they were used to the man unprompted visits as well as his angry face. Tony was sat as if he own the place, which he did, but what he was doing right there was showaming it off to Fury. Steve sat with a straight back, staring right at Fury, not showing any sign of being uncomfortable nor at ease. Bruce figured the man have had his fair share of training with being in the army during World War II.

“I am once again asking all the members of the Avengers Initiative to join SHIELD as regular agents.”

“That’s it?” Tony asked, looking nothing close to really interested in the conversation. “A mail would have been enough, Nick.”

“This is not a joke, Stark! The Council is at my ass, holding me accountable for what you do… µit would be easier to deal with if the Avengers were under SHIELD responsibility.”

“Tempting… But I’ve never being really good with the government talk… Ask Rhodey and Pepper, they’ll tell you.”

Tony said no, and out of the Avengers, with exception of Thor who was absent, Bruce is the last one who wasn’t a SHIELD agent, which meant he’s the one Fury was waiting an answer from. Steve was looking stubbornly at the Director, his jaws set so tight that Bruce knew his finger could be cut into two pieces if he shove it between the captain’s teeth, while Clint was busying himself with an arrow head, cleaning the dirt under his nails. Natasha was the only one to meet his eyes, her face let nothing appeared, but her eyes were a different matter altogether, they were screaming at him to refuse the offer. Was it to keep the team half independent of the SHIELD or for Bruce own wellbeing, he would never know, but the scientist has had his fair share of governmental experiences, and it was enough to know that being under SHIELD responsibility was the first step into getting himself caged. No, thank you. Fury looked disappointed but unsurprised, it was a given with all the drama between Bruce and General Ross.

“I can’t say that I’m surprised, but if any of you change your mind, you know where I am.”

None of them dared saying that actually, they had no idea where Fury was more often than not, not even Clint and Natasha who had worked with SHIELD for several years. Sometimes Fury was there, sometime he wasn’t, the message had to go to Hill who would then send it to Fury.

“Who’s hungry?” asked Tony, his phone already in his hand, ready to order some food because it was definitely too late to get breakfast.

“Me! I’m dying of hunger. Let’s get some pizza.”

“No way! You’ve made me eat pizza for three days straight, Clint, we’re getting something else. I’m in for Chinese.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about writing a third work for this serie but this one focusing on Steve and Bukcy. Let me know what yoy thing!
> 
> XOXO


	2. Preface

The sun was really low, shading the darkening blue sky with yellow, orange, purple and dark pink brush’ stripe, teasing the world with a foretaste of fantasy, of heaven. This was the kind of view that would make a man believe in magic and hope; this was the kind of view that would make Bruce feel bitter and nostalgic of things stolen from him, of memories no longer enough to warm him up on a bad day. Sat on the front steps, the man drank his cup of tea with small and measured sip, letting the warm liquid burn its way down his oesophagus and warm the tips of his fingers, as if the air around him was not hot and humid enough to make him suffocate. It was a way to keep his hands busy, to keep his mind on check, the numbness and the Other Guy nothing more than a background music while the pleasant ache kept the man on touch with the reality. Tonight, Bruce wasn’t playing the doctor and giving counterfeiting medicine, not after almost losing control the day before, not after watching an exhausted toddler almost past away because the mother didn’t have enough money to get a doctor. A real doctor. Banner had treated the little boy for free, but the frustration and the anger had been tough to fight, the tips of his fingers had turn greenish but luckily the room had been too dark for the others to see it. No, tonight Bruce was having a day off, well, as much of a day off as he had been able to have since sharing a body with the Other Guy. Watching the last drops of colours on the sky disappear from the dark blue surface to let the stars fully live their moment to shine, the man took a deep breath then exhaled, trying to chase away the frown that was making its way on his forehead, between his eyebrows. He could hear someone stepping closer, could hear their foot laying on the grass the grown and crushing something that was invisible in such a dark night.

It was a petite woman, she looked hungry, but that’s not what brought her there, there was someone very sick, having difficulty to breath, her husband who hadn’t been able to work for the last few days, letting his family unable to eat and if he die, they all would die or she would have to sell her body. Their son was too young to work. Banner finished his cup in hurry, pulling a face as the hot liquid burn down his oesophagus in a way far less pleasant than before. Unknowingly, he ended his peaceful and lonely life in Kolkata: as soon as he had treated the man from a virus, he little girl came in, lamenting about someone who was sick as well, she seemed on the verge of crying, she was too young to become an orphan if he could help it, Banner thought. Well, she also was a very good actress, but maybe Bruce hadn’t been in the good place of mind to discern clearly that was going on around him. He’ll never know, didn’t want to go back to Kolkata just to see if the girl was as good of an actress as she had seemed o that particular night.

Inside, there was a woman, Natasha Romanoff, she’d inform him later during their conversation, send there by SHIELD, the organisation apparently keeping him on tap for the last years. He had wondered in the pass, silhouette in his back that seemed to always be close whenever the man had been a bit tenser, a bit closer to losing his fight against the Other Guy. He didn’t want to follow her, couldn’t trust another organisation who saw him as a weapon no matter what they say, couldn’t trap himself in a city full of people, full of potential menace for his calm, for his fight against the Other Guy; but most importantly, he couldn’t refuse, not when she could have unknowingly prompted a transformation and caused him to have more blood on his hands, on his conscious, on his shame and on his anger. Thus, Bruce followed her back to the SHIELD, back to another cage, back to the foreground when he had past the last few years made sure that he blended with background, he had let her chuck the timebomb in a poll in the middle of summer. Natasha knew it, he only had to look at her eyes to see the fear, not that she was much different from the other people around them. No, there was so much fear, they all seemed to forget that Bruce could do something good when he was close to them, they could only see the tension in his back, in his hands, in his jaws. There was so much fear, and sometime a hint of curiosity, like Tony Stark, the man hadn’t played pretend, he had thrown him in the face that Bruce was the Other Guy when enraged, no need to beat around the bush. But they were one in his eyes, Banner didn’t know how to make him understand that he wouldn’t be able to reach for Bruce when talking to the Other Guy, there was a line between their entities. It didn’t help that the Other Guy seemed to like him, **_he is shiny_** , as if it explained everything. Well, Bruce supposed it did when it came to the Other Guy, the simplest explanation was enough for the most complex thing.

From then, things became complex, but Bruce knew for sure – even so many years later – that his battle for control has nothing to do with the hard time he had understanding what was going on: there is man who should be dead, there’s a god and then another one for some time, there is a cage ready for him if it is needed. Then, at some point, Banner is telling everybody that he tried killing himself, a bullet spitted out by the Other Guy, then he was laying down on his belly grunting like a furious beast, yelling at Romanoff – was it him or _him_? – then he was waking up, naked, with an old man looking at him as if Bruce was an hallucination. The Other Guy was calmer than before, content to keep quiet for a while, of course, after all, _He_ had blown up some steam. Somewhere along the way, there is fight against an army of aliens, there is only fragments of it in his head, the few times when the Other Guy had calm himself enough to look around at what was happening, but he vividly remembered a shiny thing falling to the ground, immobile. Stark.

* * *

“This is good, right?”

No one answered, not that Stark was really waiting for one, it was more or less a way to break the silence that had fell upon the group as they ate, the idea was to busy their bodies without exhausting themselves more than they already were. There was a common believe shared by the common people that after a battle, soldiers or superheroes or whatever – you name it – were too exhausted to function. They couldn’t be further from the truth, the energy kept flowing thought their bodies, they were high on adrenaline, and it would need a moment for them to settle down, to rest. Eating, walking, it was good to allow them to move slowly and use energy before resting. As he ate, Bruce could feel his body become his once more, the chair under him wasn’t anymore a distance sensation, the bright light fell more really in his eyes, the taste of the food was aggressing his taste buds. No, it wasn’t good, the man wanted to answer once he registered the question, but five minutes had gone by, there was no reason to relive it.

“Are they gonna try to put me in a cage because of today?” asked Bruce, not looking at anybody in particular.

His eyes met Tony’s, then Natasha’s. She didn’t answer, didn’t she know or didn’t she feel like lying, knowing he would be able to tell? Stark looked awfully interested in the answer, the prospect of a positive answer drawing outrageousness and anger on his face and posture, he pushed for an answer.

“I don’t know.” She finally answered. “It depends of what the Council says. But I’m sure he’ll give you a head start, you wouldn’t be very useful if they break you.”

“How magnanimous of him!” snarled Tony. “When will we know? During the debriefing or after? I suppose there’ll be one.”

There was one, it was held in SHIELD headquarter, but Bruce imagined that if the Avengers Initiative kept going, the meeting place would quickly move toward the Stark Tower, there was too many people and dangerous stuffs, but most importantly, there was too many people of the Initiative that had nothing to do with SHIELD in the first place, such as Stark, Thor, himself, and who knew where stood Rogers. Stark would never become a member of SHIELD, there was no way Fury would allow it, same with Thor, they were too volatile, and Bruce thought himself fitted in that description pretty well too. Which is why he wondered why Fury looked at him strangely when Banner asked how free he was. Not enough to go in Kolkata if he could help, apparently. And how an answer it was, really!

“You should move in the tower” There is only Stark with him in the elevator. “I’ve got a lot of toys.”

“I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m way past childhood.”

“Whoah, someone is grumpy! Are you gonna turn green?” No answer. “I’m serious. No matter where you go, they’ll follow you, so you might as well stay in New York. Easier for everybody. AND you can work with some really cool tech, no one monitoring your research except me because I’ curious of what your brain can come up with.” Still no answer. “I’m serious, Bruce. You get a place to work, a place to stay in the Stats and it’s for nothing at all. I’m sure you miss being here.”

Finally, Bruce turn his head toward the other man, observing the man, the telltale sign of is nervousness – he puckered slightly his lip, the upper one a bit more, and moved his nose a little bit –, he seemed genuine.

“Okay. Let me ask my stuff to Agent Romanoff.”

He never had the chance too, Stark took him back to the tower immediately, telling him he could send a text once they were home. Bruce didn’t know how to tell him that he had no phone, it was not the thing once would embarrassed themselves with while being on the run, too many risk of being tracked down with the satellite. Well, he’d figured out a way to get his things back, not that he had a lot to look forward to retrieve: a few clothes, a book or two, whatever he put there in emergency when leaving. Well, yeah, he had nothing.

“Good thing I’m rich enough to become your sugar daddy, right!”

**Good lord, the collocation was going to be hard!**


	3. The weird feeling of freedom

“Anyway! Now she starts asking questions about whether Stark Industry will release any statement, because there are words around that….”

Bruce wasn’t listening to Stark, hadn’t been since the beginning, but the other man didn’t seem to mind or see – it was most likely the first option –, so Banner kept adding a “hum” here or there whenever there was a dull in the tale as Stark breathed in before going on with his story. It was a bit after noon, he had been busy on some research all morning, but now if he had to wait, so Bruce figured out that he could as well have lunch, which was how he ended standing in front of a big window that let him watch New York, a few sandwiches in a plat that was in equilibrium on the backrest of a sofa. Said sofa had been claimed by Stark when the millionaire had walked in, talking on the phone with Pepper which had prompted him to end the conversation and start telling Bruce the Story of that time Miss Potts had almost killed him for leaking a S.I. secret during a night stand with a reporter. In the back of his mind, the Other Guy was getting restless, as it had become an occurrence each time Tony would use “kill me” or “hurt me” or any variant of it, _He_ had a bit of a hard time understanding figure of speech. Even though Bruce wasn’t listening, he let the man ramble, knowing the other needed it, needed to let go. Fairly early on their “collocation”, the doctor had come to understand that every once in a while Tony would put on his playboy and shallow mask in a way to regain control of the situation: write yourself the play so no one else will know where this is going but you. Bruce had his fair share of unhealthy coping mechanisms, he wasn’t about to shame Stark for his owns, even if that meant having to listen to him for way too long. Although Bruce was starting to know too much of the other man’ sex life, to a point that made him started reconsidering how much he was ready to deal with Stark coping mechanisms.

“Tony! If you start telling me what happened once you both are in the bed, I’m out and I throw you by the window at the same time.”

He stopped midway describing how he pushed the reporter on the bed, then smiled knowingly at Bruce while stealing one of his sandwiches, which he bit into before teasing his new lab mate.

“So, you were listening! I was starting to worry you weren’t. By the way…” He bit once again in the food, completely refuting his next words. “This is bad!”

“Then stop eating it?”

Tony’s reply was cut short by the ringing of his phone, Pepper, and then the man left the room, but not before stealing another sandwich, earning himself a roll of the eyes from Bruce who went on watching outside, it started raining, the sky had got darker, shelling New York in a gloom atmosphere. Well, if that didn’t kill his pleasure of watching outside. He ate the last sandwich and went back to the lab, busying himself with another project, something he had found lying around the room, one of Tony’s prototype that the man might have forgotten or deemed less important than whatever he had been working on. Bruce wasn’t much of an engineer, but that was keeping his mind and his hands busy, so that was a win. Well, his mind wasn’t that busy because it kept wandering to the few weeks prior, the few weeks of collocation with a millionaire playboy, a few weeks of rest after so many years of running away. It was hard to believe that all of this was real, there were nights when Bruce would wake up in a sweat, ready to see Ross and his men jump out of the closet, the Other Guy quietly growling in his mind. How do you calm down a decade of survivor paranoia? That’s what had kept him free and had kept billion of people alive, if the past experience were any proofs.

A few hours later, he put everything back on the table, feeling that something wasn’t quiet right, so he looked around, trying to figure out the source of his unease feeling, that’s how his eyes met those of a tall blond mythic man. The captain was here. Why? Since when? How long has he looked at Bruce from the outside of the lab, through the glass wall. The other nodded, then waved at him to come out, the other were waiting for them in one of Stark’s meeting rooms. Why hadn’t they called him by the intermediary of Jarvis, it wouldn’t be the first time that Tony did.

“I don’t trust it. Anyway, it allows me to get away from Stark for a bit before the meeting start.”

“Would believe me if I told you that I don’t feel better with the situation after you identified me to a distraction?”

“Not a distraction…” Rogers said with a frown. “A purpose to walk away.”

“An excuse? Not better…”

Looked like Bruce had been right with his theory, not even one meeting after the New York invasion and the Avengers Initiative took place out of the SHIELD headquarter, invading one of the higher room of the tower so there was no risk of someone walking accidentally on their meeting while looking for a free room. That had happened in the past, apparently, an intern had walked on Tony and reporter, not the one from the story from earlier. Not that Bruce care, but Tony had deemed important to inform him of the difference as soon as the man had sat down.

“Avengers, this is an emergency! SHIELD had received Intel that Hydra is ready to start some massive explosions in Ethiopia, their objective is to erase any trace of their experimentation there. They’ve been experimenting on serum to make super soldiers, but their guinea pigs started developing physical mutations, and not the kind that’s useful.” 

“How isn’t that something for SHIELD agents?”

“It’s not infiltration or delicate job, this need people ready to go in up to their neck, which Fury think is one of our qualification as a team.”

“In all honesty, Captain, I don’t think anyone want me or the Other Guy getting in up to our neck or we might as well escort all these people to the Hydra camp. So why am I here exactly?”

Needless to say, his reasoning fell on deaf ears and he ended, alongside the rest of the avengers, trapped inside a Quinjet on its way to Ethiopia and a situation that would most likely stress Banner out and by that, he meant he would most likely hulk out. Steve, Natasha and Clint were talking about the plan, only interrupted every now and then by Tony saying that no matter how they planned, this was going to be chaos once they’d go on the offensive. He was right, if they put Bruce in the middle of a battle, he would hulk out and there was sticking to the plan after that, the physicist voiced it. Barton took him in pity, they wouldn’t take him on the field until this became the very last option the group still had, until then Banner was on medical duty, helping out and patching up every single person the other would send him. Sounded fair, that’s what he had mostly been doing until very recently. The Quinjet landed easily, the avengers all left but Bruce who located himself close to the door, but still close enough from the radio to hear what was going on with his teammates.

It took two hours for the first civilians to arrive, Banner treated them the most he could before going to the next patient, each one sporting the mark of Hydra experimentations. There wasn’t much to be done against the mutation, the best Bruce could do was see if the mutation put their life at risk, if there was something that could slow down the process of the dead or give them painkiller when the mutation was simply causing ache. He knew that some of them wouldn’t survive long enough for SHIELD to bring them the medicine needed, but some could, and the doctor had to handle to that thought to keep himself from drowning in his anger and frustration.

On the radio, the others were cursing, yelling nonsense and commenting on each other lack of finesse or coordination, this wasn’t portraying a respectable and heroic team, far from it, and once again, Bruce wandered how Fury had come with the idea of gathering them all. Heroes came with big personality, surely you don’t put them all in a room and wait for them to initiate a perfectly choreographed ballet. He was about to turn down the volume of the radio – he had seen a little boy hold his head wincing – when he heard his name came out distinctively, pronounced by the captain.

“Dr Banner, you think you can come close to the camp before transforming?”

“Depends on how far the camp is, captain.”

“We walked for a little over half an hour. How does it sound?”

“I’ll do my best, but no promise.”

*** * ***

Natasha eared Hulk’s roar before she could see the green silhouette making the spy worried of how far from the camp Bruce had been before transforming, had Hulk risen the collateral damage? In her coms, Roger was telling Thor to lead the Hulk out of the way, they’d asked for him so the building destruction would go faster, there were too many Hydra agents keeping them away, but that would do no good to have Banner stepping on his teammates in the middle of the battle. Stark’s voice rise above the captain’s, pointing out that during the last interaction between Thor and Hulk the later had sent the first flying, Tony would do it, he was sure that Hulk liked him well enough to follow his direction.

“Come on, big guy!”

As much as Hulk liked Iron Man, it took a few tries to lead him toward the building to destroy, he kept getting distract by little men running around and trying to shoot him down, but eventually they reached the building of which said Big Guy made a quick job. The first punch through the walls made new enemies coming out in burst, soon met by the avengers who had succeeded pushing back those they had been fighting for the last hours. The rest of the battle went easily, the team was back to the Quinjet before it was night, Stark called SHIELD asking for the medicines that Bruce had written on a paper. Hulk was still at the Hydra camp, better had him blow off steam there than nearby the civilians. They were all ready to leave when Bruce came back with Steve, the scientist was holding awkwardly onto his overfitting pant, looking extremely exhausted, staring into space with distraught eyes. He didn’t even nod at his teammate, directly going to sit in the Quinjet, away from the rest of them, and halfway through the flight, Natasha came to sit on his side.

“Good job out there.”

“Thanks, I’ll make sure to get your message across to the Other Guy.”

“I’m not talking to him, but to you. I don’t know how you kept him quiet in front of the civilians, knowing that some wouldn’t survive. You spend years treating people for sickness, it must be hard for you.”

“It’s because I’ve been doing that for so long that I can numb my feeling in front of the patient, agent Romanoff. Just like you do when killing on the field, I suppose.”

“I suppose.” She made a move to stand up, but Banner’s hand on her arm stopped her.

“You shouldn’t move too much, you might have taken a big shock on the head during the battle.” She tensed under his stare. “Also, you’re last traumatic experience involved the Other Guy, you might be shaken and about to go in a PTSD shock with meeting him once again in such an intense situation.”

She stared at him with an unreadable face, then nodded, sitting further in her seat without looking away, Bruce figured it was better than to read pure unadulterated fear in her eyes. The Quinjet was calm for a few minutes, then Thor voice rang out, informing his teammate that he was hungry and would take some time tonight to enjoy some Midgard food, the announce prompted Stark to react. Thor wouldn’t need to go out, they would all go back to the Tower and relax together with some pizzas and alcohol while getting to know each other and hang out together in a stress free environment. Bruce kept it to himself, but a look at Clint’s eyebrow rising, he knew that they thought the same: how was it stress free? He still found the tower stress after living there for the last few weeks. Thor welcomed happily the idea, it’s was well past due time that he learn about the warriors he fought alongside. Tony stared at Steve, waiting for his reaction.

“We might as well do some team building. Maybe that’ll allow us to work better together if we spend some times out of the job.”

Bruce had hoped to sleep, it will have to wait because there was no way that Tony would allow him to desert the improvised party, and with the captain’s logic, neither would the soldier. Jarvis ordered a pizza of each sort while Tony started to mix alcohol to serve a drink to everyone, Natasha keeping a close eye on the mixing to make sure he wasn’t going to give them something for little girl. Clint snorted at her comment, he had long been forbidden to handle the drink since she had deemed him as “the worst barman ever”, the story made Tony raise an eyebrow. Bruce was still nursing his first drink when the pizza came, the other were at their second or third, the awkward silence of the beginning was gone.

“Yeah, I’ve been working for SHIELD for more than a decade, way before Nat, you can ask Coulson.”

“It’s not much of a shocking info, Legolas, you look way older than Romanoff. But talking about Coulson, why wasn’t agent with us today?”

“Still recovering.” Answered Natasha, but they all see the smile in Clint’s face faltered. “The sceptre did almost touch his heart, he’ll need some time to get better.”

“Well. It’s a injury as big as the mistake of thinking he could take Loki on his own.”

“Tony, I might not be the most in tune with a party mood, but I’m sure that’s not the kind of subject people bring on.”

Steve raised his glass, mocking Tony’s look of betrayal which earned them a chuckle from Natasha and Clint who had come to know Steve since he kept working for SHIELD, and that meant that they were used to this sassy side of the soldier. They couldn’t wait to see this side in action with the rest of the avengers. Bruce took a sip of his drink, he had mostly been observing the rest interact, not feeling aware enough to be more than physically present, but Thor didn’t seem to get the message. He sat beside the smaller man, overly friendly in act, and started to explain that he saw the scientist name in some scientific magazine that Jane had lying around in her house. They shared the closest pizza, and at some point, another appeared one on his lap and his glass was full again, Clint and Steve were playing a game of pool with Natasha commenting, and Tony was sitting on Bruce other side. It felt weird, but not the bad kind of weird, the kind that made you ask tell yourself that you don’t want to move. No one was waiting something from Bruce and no one was pretending they could give him everything, they were just hanging out in peace.


	4. 101: Flirting, spying and vulnerability

“You’re sure that it looks okay?” asked Clint for maybe the fifteenth time in the last hour.

He stood in the middle of the living room – well, it was one of them –, spread arms, clad in a dark green tuxedo, showing off how it fitted to his muscular body, the fabric stretching deliciously around his biceps and shoulders, hanging more loosely around his waist. The archer looked really good, even more if he would stop fidgeting with his cuffs. Natasha looked at the man without a word, face as blank as ever when she judged it necessary, but the aura around her frame was dangerous enough for Pepper to decide that she would intervened between the spies, wondering how both of them had been able to work together for so long when Natasha always seemed one step away from knocking her partner out.

“Clint, Phil will fall in love all over again. You know that the man like a good suit, that’ll keep him over his toes for the whole evening.”

“Where are you going, by the way?” Tony, sat on the sofa, watching the whole scene, chose that moment to intervene. “ … In case we need to reach for you, you know, if the world needs saving tonight…”

“There is a …” Clint started, stopped himself mid-sentence as if pondering if he trusted Tony enough to let him in the confidence. “A friend of ours from Portland is in New York, so we thought we could go out and see the Philharmonic orchestra of New York.”

“Wait, wait, wait! You’re telling me that there is really a cellist in Portland? I thought it was just a code for you?! ”

A smile made its way on Natasha’s lips, because as much as the cellist of Portland was a person, they were a very important person for Phil and Clint which means that Tony wasn’t wrong, it was a code. Herself had been invited to join the trio since she knew who Kate was, but the spy had decline the invitation, saying she would use her Clint-free time to get some self-care night in. For Natasha Romanoff, a Clint-free/self-care night in was actually m&ms, hot chocolate, a blanket and some of the cheesiest movies ever with a break from time to time to watch some of the “nerdiest” movie ever. Tony had dared asking her what was her plan that night, a look was enough to make him stutter and walk away; this was her alone time.

Half an hour later, Phil and Clint left, Pepper and Tony not far behind, which meant that Natasha was finally alone in the living room, she quickly grabbed her provisions for the nigh and tossed the cushions around until she deemed the sofa comfy enough. The first movie went by and she was about to tell Jarvis to start the next one when she sensed someone approaching, too quiet to be Tony, but a dangerous presence far too big for the small body that went with. Bruce. He was walking bare feet, his white coat traded for an oversized grey-cottoned sweater, no glasses in sight. He looked awkward and extremely jumpy which made the widow tensed on her spot. He saw it, his hand reached for his neck to rub it, trying to relax himself.

“I feel like every time I see you outside of mission, you’re watching movie.”

“How do you thing I became the spy I am today?”

“I see… It’s all thanks to intense hours of reviewing the James Bond movies. ”

“101 What not to do when you’re a spy.”

“And Rom-com were for the flirting class, am I right?”

“It works, doesn’t it?”

She asked with an eyebrow raised, smirking before taking a sip of her hot chocolate that has started to get cold, she would have to make some fresh one before starting the new movie. Bruce looked at her, squirting his brown eyes, trying to read her, and Natasha knew the man had no idea, but that face made him harder to read, she almost wanted to help him work on his poker face. Finally, the crease on his forehead relaxed.

“I supposed, given my experience, that I have to agree to a certain extend.” He pointed his finger in her direction. “Want me to heat up some for you?”

Natasha cancelled the surprised on her face – it wouldn’t do well for her reputation as a spy–, but she refused to think that Bruce didn’t do it on purpose, he had to be aware of the double meaning of his wording, he was a smart man. That made her replay what the physicist had just said about his experience making him agree with her statement: the only big relationship SHIELD knew about was with Betty Ross. Was it possible that the man in front of her had once been confident enough to flirt this obnoxiously with a woman as confident and morally straight as Betty Ross? Natasha had always though that Betty was the one who make the move for their relationship, seeing how straight forward and no-nonsense the scientist was, but this double meaning wording made her re-evaluate her beliefs, so looking at her mug, she made a decision.

“Do you know how to make an Irish coffee? Make me one and you’ve earned your place as my self-care night buddy.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow, not quiet smirking but close enough, miles away for the unassuming doctor she knew and once more, she wondered who the man had been before the accident, how much had he changed. It was as much an exciting thought as it was a sad one, knowing that deep down, Hulk birth had erased the man Bruce was once to lead to a life shared between two diametrically opposed personalities. The scientist took her mug, went to the kitchen, still in Natasha sight, and started grabbing what was needed for an Irish coffee which took some time to be ready, but soon enough Natasha was sitting on one of the sofa extremity, wrapped in a blanket while Bruce was on the other extremity with his own blanket and both where holding a cup of hot alcoholised coffee, warming up and absentmindedly watching the rom-com playing on the big screen. The movie was silly, which was exactly the reason why the spy liked it, it made her brain feel empty of worries, plans and secrets for a little while, made her feel like she didn’t know enough to bring down men and governments in a few moves. Her drink last until the movie credits, the redhead then put her glass on the table in front of the sofa, next to Bruce own drink, and declined Jarvis when the AI asked to start the next movie.

“Tell me about Betty Ross.”

“Why?”

“I won’t use it to fill your files… If it’s what worries you.” She saw Bruce’s shoulders relaxed. “I wanna know what kind of man you were. You don’t seem the kind to use cheesy one-liner… Or to make the first move… So, were you like that before?”

“I guess I always was calm and the shy spectrum of the social scale.” He started with a smile. “But, flirting… When I knew someone was interested, I could do it. I mean, I’ve always been the kind to know what I wanted and to make it happened. It was like that on the academic side, but also in my romantic life: I’ve had my fair share of flings and one night stand during college and university.”

He stopped talking, eyes lost in the void, replaying his memory in his mind, no trace of bitterness on his smile, even though it wasn’t uncommon when the man was talking about his past. Was he thinking of those flings, those past days, himself or Betty? Natasha had no idea.

“So… First moves and cheesy one-liner? Been there, done that!” Natasha couldn’t help but smile at the dorky side that Bruce was showing her. “But Betty and I, that goes way before flirting, feelings and all that romantic mess, ‘t goes back to our fathers. We were kids, playing around, eating ice-cream, pretending to be our parents… Then I moved away, living with my aunt, and this all go to the trash.” She’s hugging a cushion against her chest now, listening attentively to Bruce’ story. “Years later, I’m at the university, we hang around the same crew without really running into each other, we knew of each other but kept pushing back the big moment. Then, we’re invited to some big events that didn’t last very long, so the whole crew decided to go out for a while after. We’re at the bar, easing back into a friendly conversation, but there is a tension that we can’t ignore. At some point, the other are too drunk or dancing, and I turn to Betty. ‘Hey, wanna play mom and dad, there is no once to call us for dinner now!’ ”

“What did she say?”

“She told me that that was for children, that now she liked to play doctor and could introduce me to the game if I wanted.”

“I can’t decide if I’m more awed or more disturbed by the level of dorkiness of your couple…”

The scientist’ smile faltered, but she knew it wasn’t because of her, his mind was years away, replaying the memories of Banner and Ross before it all went south, maybe even before that. The relationship was deemed unfortunate by General Ross way before the accident, Bruce told her, the relationship was one of teenagers and the man had planted doubt into her daughter mind the moment Bruce had hesitated to put a ring on her finger and buy a house together.

“I was renting a house on my own, she lived in a flat… When she asked to get a house together, I thought we’d start with renting, we weren’t stable enough to buy, then get the house and get married. I would have given her everything in the long term, but getting everything in a hurry wasn’t a good idea. To me at least. Betty took my need for time as a fear of commitment… A few months later, Glenn Talbot was ready to put a ring on her finger and to take a mortgage.”

“But then you get back together.”

“Yeah, but not for long and we knew it. It was after the accident, you’ve read about it.”

“You miss her?” It wasn’t really a question, but she felt like maybe Bruce didn’t talk about it enough for such a big part of his life.

“Yeah, I do.”

“I don’t believe in love.” He raised an eyebrow at her, now he was looking directly in her direction, back with the present. “Well, not for me at least…” She didn’t know why she spoke about it, it wasn’t something she spoke of often. She was sure Clint had no idea. “People out there in the street, they’re blank. Neither bad nor good, they just live. It makes sense for them to love and be loved. But then, there are the good and the bad people, also the people who were taught that there was no good nor bad… These one, they tend to do one or the other, when there is no limit for you, you end up touching those of the other people.” She stopped talking for a few seconds, breathing in and breathing out. “The good people know how to love, but the love they receive is wrong, it push and push until they shattered into pieces that others pick up and kept for themselves. And then, there are the bad people, people like me…”

“Natash…”

“I can’t live thinking that out there, there is someone I love. It would be a weakness, a blind spot and if that weakness doesn’t make me go deeper on a road I try to keep away from, then it’ll keep reminding me of all the bad that I’ve done. But on the other side, the worst would be to have someone out there who loves me… I don’t think that I could handle love slowly die in their eyes, the spark being suffocated by the awful things that I’ve done and that’ll come back to get me one day.”

The room fell in silence, neither Bruce nor Natasha daring to spoke anymore, fearing that they would break the vulnerability of the moment, of the spy’s confession, but after a moment, the redhead felt a hand wrapped its finger around her wrist, a thumb making slow circles on the back of her hand. Bruce wasn’t looking at her, but at the roof, a crease between his eyebrows like if he was deep in thoughts.

“You know, Natasha, I don’t think you’re bad. I think you’re one of those people who were taught that bad and good weren’t real concepts then used by some guys to work on their won political and morally dubious agenda. Then you saw what was going on, change your course of actions and try righting your wrongs. So… No, I don’t think you’re a bad person.”

Bruce squeezed her wrist with a sad smile, eyes seemingly looking miles away, then he stood up and brought the glasses and bowls pack to the kitchen, sometimes looking at Natasha who hadn’t say a word, looking as if he was trying to read her. After a few minutes of washing of the glasses and bowls, the physicist made his way to the living room hallway, stopped in his track and turn his head toward Natasha, one of his hand supporting his weight against the wall.

“You know, it’s funny how SHIELD is always acting as if I’ve had the worst anger issue in the world, but the more time I spend with the team, the more I see the anger driving us all to our goal. Mines just happens to be more visible. Yours is directed at yourself since you can’t make the world pay for what happened to you. You shouldn’t blame the victim…”

“Is that why we don’t see you that much when we’re all in the living room, watching movies and getting to know each other?” Silence. “Because we’re a chemical mixture that make chaos?”

“No. It’s just that the tower feel overcrowded now-a-day. I’m not sure that I’m ready to handle that just yet.” He turned to leave once for all.

“Bruce? We’ll get you there. I promise.”

*** * ***

It was nine pm. and Bruce’ stomach was telling him to eat something more consistent that the crackers he had around five pm., he asked Jarvis if there was anything easy to eat in the fridge and the AI told him there were some pizza. He should have known that it meant the common room was crowded, the sofas had been pushed aside to allow the avengers to sit around the coffee table on which they were playing poker. Tony, Steve, Natasha and Clint were each on a side of the table, Thor sat on a love-seat, watching warily the game. Bruce felt himself grow curious of the game outcome: Tony was fairly good with money and business which meant he could have a good way with poker, Clint had grown around some thieves in a circle and must have play cards at many occasion, and Natasha was a spy, her poker face was the deal as was her ability to read people, but Steve… Born, raised and living in Brooklyn during the Depression, then the army during World War II? Bruce refused to think that the man wasn’t a vicious player.

“Who’s winning?” he asked, biting into a part of pizza.

“No one.” Groaned Tony, the frowned on Clint’s face deepening in frustration.

“You know how to play, Brucie-bear?”

“Maybe I know… But I don’t wanna play against any of you, I’ve got some pride and self-respect.” It earned him a laughter from Clint.

“Shame.” Natasha muttered with a winked “I’ve seen some poker face the other night.”

“Come on, guys, bring it on!”

Three groans followed, but the smug smile on Steve’s face didn’t faltered one bit and Bruce thought that it was the first time Rogers wasn’t tensed or looking melancholic. Did it make him feel like not so much had change since he went into the ice? He shuted the thought, sitting next to Natasha who had made some place for him to join the team, Thor sat on Tony’ side, the man promising to teach him how to play.


End file.
